I'm not going to sit behind this computer screen and act like I have got my life together. Like my trials have been major and my struggles haven't created bags under my eyes and one too many tears at night. I can't sit here and tell you that everything is going to be peaches and cream and throw some encouraging scriptures, pat you on the head and send you on. I can't promise anything that is to come will bring nothing but happiness and satisfaction--- but what I can say is simple and comprehensible. 

I have had an incredible journey of ups and downs. It has been such a ride for me, at times I wished I could wake up from this ugly nightmare. Multiple times I have questioned if God was even listening to me. "God, can you hear me?" Sometimes it seemed like my prayers were merely words coming out of my mouth.

At my darkest moments a glimpse of light always shined through like the sun rising early in the mornings. I knew God hadn't forgotten about me. Why do I have to go through this, though?

As the "dry" seasons passed I quickly began to realize the purpose of each moment that soon faded. Purpose. Everything that happens has a unique purpose. The molding of a new me, the stretching into the form of a stronger, more steadfast me. At the most crucial times in life I had to learn where my faith, hope and strength were placed in. Were they placed in my hands or the Fathers?

Giving God full access in my life and complete control is the hardest thing I have ever had to do... and I am still learning how to do it. Throughout this time God has been with me every step of the way, leading me into His will and giving me peace beyond understanding. I have had to learn to trust the unknown. 

I just want to encourage anyone who is reading this to be persistent and push on. Incline your ear to God and He will hear you. If you are obedient to His plans the satisfaction and joy will be yours. Frequently remind yourself that everything has purpose. Even if it hurts for a moment, know that you joy is coming in the morning. (Psalms 30:5)

You got this.

"Quarrels end, but words once spoken never die."

          As I am of course paying close attention to my professor in class today, thoughts began to infest my mind concerning words. WORDS. Gosh dang. As I sit in my chair trying to maintain a comfortable position for my broken collarbone my brain started to bring up memories. Memories that were good and others very ugly. Memories of words that have been said to me. Words are so powerful--- we have heard this many times throughout the days, but have we truly taken into consideration the mighty impact that the tongue carries, though?

I can remember vividly being told how I will never amount to much because my parents didn't attend college, or that I have all kinds of spirits that hinder myself and those around me. I have been told that because of my past I will never be worthy in the eyes of God. That my personality is overbearing and "piping it down" would be my best bet. I smile too much, I laugh in unnecessary moments. I will struggle for the rest of my life because I did not grow up in a wealthy environment. I have been mocked, slandered and beaten to the grounds by words that hurt and pierce through to this day. 

Why do they hurt so bad? Do people realize that I am human--- that WE are human? 

I can only express so much sincerity and empathy through a computer screen but I am truly sorry if you have ever been shot to the ground by negative words and lies that have been splashed in your face. It's not fair, it's not nice and no one deserves to go through the torment that mean words have caused.

In class today, the phrase that triggered all these thoughts that my professor said was this: "Never let what someone says define you."

For the longest I struggled with this. It hurt me all the time. I lingered on the things that were said about me. I allowed all these things to define myself. I thought since whoever said this was a "Christian" then it had to be true. But BOY OH BOY did God reach out to me in my lowest point and carry me to a safe place. He whispered truth in my ear and I listened. I listened to what mattered and the solid foundation of Christ pulled me out of such a dark time.

I just want to encourage you to never allow another human to degrade you. To limit your worth. To tell you who you are. You are worthy, beautiful, and so precious in the eyes of Jesus.

I read a quote the other day and it said something like, "How cool is it that the same God who created the mountains, oceans and galaxies looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too." 

That made me feel so amazing because the value of another persons opinion or thought is worthless. The only thing that should truly hit home is the individual God sees you as. 

hold on to the promises 

It has been a good minute since I have slowed my role on hopped back into the groove! I absolutely love being able to share things that are on my heart and to give personal experiences and obstacles I have overcome in this fun game of life. 

It is so crazy how things change in the blink of an eye. We have heard all of our lives (well, for me) that staying in The Word and remaining prayed up is essential as we trudge our ways down different paths and decisions. Honestly, it is so true. I can tell you I have been on both sides of this fence. One being neglectful to my personal time with Jesus vs. actually putting God first in my daily routine and setting time aside for Jesus to walk with me. Let me tell you, even in the lowest times of my life, sharing it with God made the moments easier to bear. 

Through every moment we face, one thing is for sure: HOLD ON to the promises God has spoken. Every word the Lord has declared over you, take hold of it and run with it. Literally run. Satan is going to try and tear you down in every way possible and put negative thoughts in your mind that overwhelm you, deter you from the truth and can even put a barrier between you and your relationship with Jesus. When God tells us to cling to Him, CLING. 

Things aren't always fair when we undergo trials and our world turns upside down unexpectedly, yet, we know who holds our future. We know who can guide us through the raging sea. Don't cower in fear, for fear is not in us. (2 Timothy 1:7)
I went through one of the most driest season I have experienced since I gave my life to God a year ago. It was so hard for me. Before this season hit, God kept telling me that He is about to stretch me and during this time I would grow. I received this from the Lord a couple times and it didn't make sense to me until I was actually living in that dry season. Every time I felt discouraged or the enemy tried to put lies in my head I would remind myself the words Jesus gave me. This will help me grow. I will learn something from this. Enjoy the season and hardship. There is purpose. 

Although it was extremely difficult I endured and pressed on. God's words were true and He didn't skip a beat or miss a promise. I came out on top and even closer to God at the end of one of the many journeys yet to come.

So stay encouraged! Remind yourself who you are and who God has called you to be. Don't give the enemy a foothold. Remain diligent and steadfast because God has your best intentions-- even when it's hard to understand.

2 Corinthians 1:20
"For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory."

Being YOU is so much fun...



I know you've heard people say that being yourself is simply the best thing you can do-- well, they didn't lie! 

Hey guys! I'm so happy and blessed to have another day I wasn't promised. Another day to be myself, spread the love of Jesus and to be able to sit here and type out some thoughts worth sharing. 

When I take a look around, I see so many awesome people. God is just the best. He created each person so carefully with broad, beautiful, amazing, and colorful personalities. Each individual has traits and qualities that match up to none other and are so unique. Whenever you are someone say, "you are one of kind", believe it! There is none other around like you. WOAH. That's a lot to wrap my head around. Haha!

It's crazy to me how some people just don't get to hear how truly worthy and downright great it is that they are existing and how they are impacting someone. You are just a bundle of skittles and bunnies with cute fluffy tails. That's the best, right? (it made more sense in my head)

To be honest with you guys, I'm not writing this to butter you up or sound all sappy... but sometimes all we need is a person to express just how cherished you are, And literally, every single person I know, whether if we agree on our views, morals and lifestyle, or not, I truly love and care about. I couldn't imagine not having these super rad people in my life. They all matter. 

This is why it's super amazing whenever we embrace our personalities, the beauty of it-- it's so great. Don't hide the true you, that's selfish! We all want to love you and be acquainted with that special person God designed you to be.

Man, that word... designed. God thought you were important enough to become a someone on this planet. How sweet is that? 

So, even if this didn't relate to you at all, I felt like I should speak about this. 

Remember: YOU are cherished, valuable and irreplaceable.
If I haven't told you this before, I LOVE YOU.

         Man, my heart has just been heavy today. Like, can I just spit some reality and already obvious truth into your life? If anyone ever told you being a Christian would be easy, they LIED. We live in such a small, tight, narrow way of life... even Jesus said it's the road less taken, the path less formed. Some days I just want to scream and (if I was in shape) run... and keep on running. I know I am babbling, so let me make things a little more clear.

Some days I wake up and i'm just like... dude, what are you doing? If God really had His hand over you then why is all of this happening. Why are you crying yourself to sleep almost every night and your confidence in who God says you are is dying daily? It's funny how life works. What's even more comical, is how God works. I swear right when I feel like giving up He pulls me through. I think the hardest thing for me that I had to do was swallow my pride and pray for my enemies. For the people who have hurt me... Don't get me wrong, that took a lot. It wasn't easy. All of my flesh just wanted to get into someone's face and try and throw down with those who tried and break me. But can I just be real?

My mouth has always been an issue. At times I feel like my attitude is on some other level, my flesh tries to come at me from all angles, it hits even worse whenever I haven't been in the Word. I've always wanted to see myself as a woman of God and the moment I started listening to the noises coming from the crickets, I lost focus of who I was... only for a split second. I get angry, maybe a cuss word slips in my mind, I find myself idolizing women who have that perfect hourglass figure and perfect hair that falls so perfectly down their back. I lie when I say "i'm fine" or "it ain't nothing". Heck, some days I feel like I die a little more on the inside because I struggle with my identity in Christ. I put up a front here and there, don't want people thinking i'm weak minded or can't handle when life shoots it's bullets at me. But please... just let me be real.

Hello?! Can I just speak for myself and say I am not perfect just because I call myself a Christian. And just because sometimes I question God and His ways does not mean my relationship with Him has shifted down a level. I'm not saying this lifestyle that I have devoted myself to is too much on me. You won't catch me reverting back to my old ways or throwing in the towel. What I am saying though is I am human. YOU are human for feeling this way. God knew what He was doing when He called you into a mission and spoke promises into our lives. God don't make mistakes and He's for sure not going to forget about you if you struggle accomplishing everything you are called to me, 

So each morning when you wake up and you feel like the last straw is coming, literally, put that lame ol' devil back in his place. He has no authority over you, whatsoever. Times get rough, they get hard, I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have just wanted to hide and shut everyone out. I'm trying to just be real and as honest as I can... keep on keeping on, seriously. Kick butt and know that God's you. This is a crazy roller coaster we're on... but praise God because His plan has purpose. Those hard times result in growth, Stand your ground and don't waver. God is good.

Black & White

Bloom and don't lose color...

As I was conversing with a couple ladies tonight, I realized, that insecurities are a BIG deal. We all have them, young, old, men and women. But why? I find myself being so hard on myself. For instance, my weight, hair, makeup (why can't it ever be like the girls on pinterest?) my smile, goodness how my thighs are like America when sitting... but when we are so hard on ourselves then what happens?

1. After analyzing my actions I realize that I speak these things over my life, I speak them over everything and anything God has created me to be and I shift these things in a whole new direction and my focus becomes self centered and these insecurities cause depression and anxiety to seep through.

I HATE FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY BODY.

But, as a woman of God (in no way perfect) I have challenged myself for the next couple of days, and maybe you should try as well, to start proclaiming GOOD things over yourself. Even if you don't believe it, speak it. 

Things always take a turn when your brain actually hears what words come out of your mouth. YOU are beautiful. YOU are perfect the way you are. YOU are flawless through Jesus Christ.

2. It's important to remember who you are. And just remember your identity is found in Christ (Ephesians 1:5) Allow Jesus to redefine your mind and completely transform anything that is not of Him. ALLOW. You won't regret it.

3. Having insecurities is perfectly fine... but don't let it define you. Overcome these bad boys by praying and being open to God and letting him do what He is wanting; which is to help you and give you strength, encourage you and build you up on a solid rock. 

I struggle with this daily, but I am being open to God and He understands that. I love you guys and am praying that God builds you up in every way. Be blessed.